Psycho killers and the color pink don’t often combine well. Still, someone (we knoweth not exactly whom) has irretrievably joined them in the creation of the Hello Kitty Chainsaw. Complete with a splatter pattern of purple hearts on the blade, this is THE gift for the serial killer on your list who has EVERYTHING.

You may not be thinking about gifts; after all, the holidays are nowhere near, but if you ponder this for a moment, what better way is there to show how you really feel about some of your friends and family? Perhaps a glittery meat grinder might send a similar message, but why go for “blah” when you can have “wow”?

The hot pink exterior of the Hello Kitty Chainsaw and inane kitty holding an even smaller teddy bear stamped on the side tell most of the story. But is this a real product or just someone’s idea of a bloody prototype? On Hello Kitty, where the original post was found, it is suggested that the Hello Kitty Chainsaw is indeed a reality and has actually been used. (Which body parts it has severed and scattered far and wide are as yet unknown.)

The forces of cute and pink in Hello Kitty everything have run amuck and we are in dire need of a Darth Kitty or Puss Powaaa to fight its encroachment into every area of our domestic lives. Consumers must be saved from a sea of mediocrity. Hello Kitty must cease and desist as the time has come for it to morph into the fading clouds of passing fads. Still, a chainsaw and show ‘em no mercy attitude might be just the thing needed to cut through the cute and pink everywhere.

We could ask Ted Bundy for some suggestions, but fortunately he is very nice and dead and not available for consultation.

What do YOU think about this?




M Dee Dubroff is the penname of this freelance writer and former teacher originally from Brooklyn, New York. A writer of ghostly and horror fiction, she has branched out into the world of humorous non fiction writing and maintains eight web sites covering a wide variety of topics. She also writes feature articles for several local newspapers. Her book entitled: A Taste of Funny, and her website, Eat, Drink And Really Be Merry ( feature many well researched and humorous articles on the subject of food and drink.