The next time you get the urge to metaphorically wipe your posterior with a pink slip in the face of your obstinate boss, consider the latest contribution to Japan’s already booming crazy invention market: a machine that turns discarded paper waste into usable toilet paper.

Nakabayashi Toilet

Japanese company Nakabayashi, whose modus operandi is the production of environmentally friendly products, office machines, and for some reason car seats, has developed a new machine that will create toilet paper from all forms of paper waste, from post-it notes to TPS reports.

Two rolls of toilet paper can be produced from roughly 1,800 standard-sized (8.5”x11” or A4) sheets of paper, though no indication has been given as to whether or not this is one-ply or two-ply or if the machine possesses the capabilities of fusing Aloe with the toilet paper it creates.

But experiencing the perks of such an environmentally beneficial machine comes at a price: this 1,300-pound machine will be available for a whopping $95,000. Adding to the price tag is the as-of-now unknown cost of operation, which could make the already hefty price tag even higher, especially in the long run. Unless you’re a printing company like Kinko’s. Then it almost pays for itself.

Distribution will begin in August, but only in Japan. If they hope to sell their projected goal of sixty units within the first year of it being on the market, distribution will have to extend world-wide. Until then, we’ll just have to be content with our machines that convert flatulence into the sweet scent of brownies.

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