Do you, Sir or Madam, have an itchy butt? But are you too slick, sly, and evil a roll of mere Charmin’ toilet paper? Then today I am here to bless you with the first-ever toilet paper just for Ninjas!
Up for grabs in Japan is the Ninja Toilet Paper, officially dubbed ‘Tora no Maki.’
This 30-meter roll of double-layered toilet paper is inscribed with Ninja mouji, which are secret codes based on Jindai Moji / Kamiyo Moji scripts used in Shinto shrines before Chinese characters were mixed in with the Japanese language.
Back in ancient China, officials and other sly characters used Ninja mouji for their most classified communications and documents. In particular, only men were ever taught it, so that way no woman could ever interfere with important issues.
Ninjas would then retrieve these documents and perform the instructions laid out for them—whether it meant infiltrate an enemy’s camp, sabotage a competing rival, or assassinate a troublemaker.
Unfortunately, the brand-new Ninja Toilet Paper retails for a whopping 400-yen or $4.60 a roll! So if you’re looking to switch from traditional toilet paper, you might want to first make sure you have a really good job. But if you just want to buy a roll to show off to friends and family, then gon’ get your Ninja on!