Eels Devours Man’s Bowels

Posted on May 7, 2010

Friends can do some pretty mean things when one of their own passes out drunk. A common college prank is to draw all over the inebriated individual with a permanent marker, while others may take it to the extreme and shave various parts of the body. My personal favorite is seeing how much you can stack on top of the passed out drunk before A) he wakes up, or B) everything falls over.

For others, however, this is mere child’s play. Why simply humiliate your friend when you can cause him irreparable damage with a high risk of death?

A 59-year old chef in the Sichuan province of China passed out around the wrong group of friends, who decided it would be a great idea to insert a live eel measuring 50 cm in length into the man’s rectum. Let that sink in for a second. A group of friends, presumably too drunk to realize sea creature and anus are not supposed to go together, take a live eel (where they got it is anyone’s guess) and forcibly insert into the bowels of a man they considered to be a friend while he was passed out drunk.

Not content with resting comfortably with the man’s colon until he woke up, our friend the eel went to town on his bowels. Not surprisingly the man died, with medics stating that the eel literally “devoured his bowels.” One source identified the eel as an Asian swamp eel, which I suppose is a better alternative than a moray eel. Either way you have an eel in your butt, so I don’t think there’s a real need to quibble over which type you’d rather have inside you.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

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10 thoughts on “Eels Devours Man’s Bowels

  1. Guest

    I can't believe you didn't say "With friends like these, who needs enemas."
    You even got most of the line there. Change it. Pretend the joke is yours. It's not too late!

    Reply
  2. Guest

    I can't believe you didn't say "With friends like these, who needs enemas."
    You even got most of the line there. Change it. Pretend the joke is yours. It's not too late!

    Reply
  3. AF

    This is just plain wrong and stupid at the same time. Honestly, it’s not funny when someone dies at the hand of a stupid and cruel prank. It’s just plain sad, honestly. Those stupid friends should be ashamed.

    Reply
  4. JoBo

    My god, this story gave me nightmares for days. My friends and I had hate to write a pact that the anus is a no-go zone when passed out.

    Reply

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